Friends

People change. It's the natural way of things, we get older, learn, and we change because of what we've learned getting older. Original reasons you may have liked someone change. Maybe that trait is gone forever. Maybe you see something in them that you'd never noticed before. But for some reason or another you stop being friends.

This has happened to me. I'm reminded of it daily. And I remember the reasons. He lies, he cheats, he infuriates me with his self-rightness. But maybe half of that is my own stubborn pride, unwillingness to accept that I may have been wrong in trying to prove him wrong.

There's a load of reasons why I don't like him, but I still think back to a time when he was my best friend. How much fun we'd had that good 12 years that we were friends. There was fun aplenty. But there were problems too.

What happens when you have friends that aren't friends with each other. Where one side even hates the other? You have to pick a side and I had to pick, I was forced to pick a side because of the actions of one of them. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't had to choose and that I could sit down and just be friends again, but while he was my best friend, I was never his. That made the decision a little easier I suppose, but it's still hard. Sometimes I wish that we could go back 12 years and have the fun over again. But this time I'd be a little smarter I think, know what to do and not to do, maybe not get into so much trouble along the way... but without the chance of getting in trouble, where's the fun?

Nightmare before Christmas

It's a dream. It has to be.

And I'm going to wake up soon. I know I will. This can't be real.

There's no way this is Christmas.

But what do I say? Is there anything I can say?

Life isn't going to return to normal now is it?

And there's nothing I can do.

Absolutely nothing.

God, are you going to let his happen? Why? Why don't you do something? I prayed so hard. Why can't you do something miraculous now?

A feud, but inside the family...

I'm proud of my name, I'm proud of what it stood for. The man it stood for. That man is gone now. And without him the name is starting to look like a shell of it's original strength. That man is the reason I am not ashamed of my name, my size, my country roots, my blue-collar past. I was born to the field, for the field. I can turn a chunk of dry, arid, rocky desert into a lush, green plain. Green as the sun is hot.

That man was my Grandfather. He is my father, and he is me.

He held my world together with his bare hands, calloused and strong. At 70 years old he could pick up a boulder my size and tip it into bucket on the loader, he could work from dark to dark. He worked hard to give his children a chance, the same way my father worked for me, the same way that I'm going to work for my children.

I came from two strong families. My potential is great, though my work ethic lacks at times. I won't let it loosen any more. Not after what has happened.

That man didn't teach us about lying or deception. Especially not among family. There was no take in that man, just giving. He was about helping each other, what one had we all had. We didn't have wealth, but we had each other, and when wealth comes before each other, that's when we know they forgot him. Now I'm just raging. Fire like this hasn't burned in me in so long I forgot what it was like. Like the feeling of the steering wheel at 110, or the grip of a gun as it's fired, like the recoil of a bat as it connects with a ball, but all multiplied by a thousand.

And the only thought on my mind is payback. Revenge upon my family. And violence isn't the solution, the solution is success. It's the only way to win. And I will. I don't care how hard it is, I will.

He wanted school for me. He wanted it for his grandchildren like he wanted it for his children. And I'm going to finish and I'm going to succeed, I'm going to... I'm going to...

Steady Moving until 60...

Got level 33 two days ago, yesterday reached 34, today reached 35, and tonight probably 36. I'm moving steady.

Blogging about it helps me stay motivated I suppose. I got my first PvP kills in Stranglethorn Vale today. Horde are morons.

More later.