Graduated

I'm now Brad Paulin, High School Graduate.... and unto me the doors of the world have opened... an behind them are stacks and stacks of books, pencils, and sheets of lined paper... is that a good omen?

Finally Finished the Finals, now just have to worry about getting to school tomorrow for the rehearsal...

Finals are over, finished them, not too bad, hopefully I passed my Trig final. Have a graduation "rehearsal" tomorrow... bunch of crap, they should just line us up alphabetically and just give out the diplomas... but no... they wanna make a big deal on the ways rows are staggered and how many people in each row and the order of the people in the row... it's the most retarded system I have ever seen.

They told us if we didn't go to the rehearsal we don't get to walk at graduation. So... now I'm about to go to sleep so I can get there at friggin 8 in the morning, I usually don't even leave the house until 10, this is screwin with me.

Final Finals Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my last day of high school. I have 2 finals, Trig and AP English Performance final. And I have 3 assignments due in English tomorrow tomorrow that I have been procrastinating for a very long while on.

Finally renewed my license, it was only 12 days expired, and now I am forced to wear glasses while I drive, people ask me why I don't where my glasses all the time, well I'll tell you why, girls aren't as pretty, and I've accidentally sat on them, hit them, dropped them, and crushed them so many times they look like I tried to tie them into a knot.

Well I never really liked the people my age in Jerome, they just aren't interested in what I am, and when they are they are moronic about it. But as graduation nears I'm happy about never seeing all those guys again, and sad at the same time, even though I hate them, I know them, it's just a sad thing to know a person and come to the realization you'll most likely never see most of them again, whether it be because they are pothead-drunks and are gonna die on graduation night, or because they move away from Jerome thinkin it's the worst place in the world, which it really isn't ( if you don't mind gang-banger Mexicans) it's still definitely better than Buhl, and we aren't complete and utter morons like Twin Falls people, so I think I got the best of the 3 towns around...

Well Fox guys... pray for me on my finals tomorrow, maybe I might just be able to pull that 3.0 outa thin air, took half of my Trig final today, if I missed more than 2 I'll be shocked, it was simplicity...

Games I suddenly have a wicked craving for:
UT 2004 - Much better FPS than Halo and has some really wicked custom Assault maps online right now.
Impossible Creatures - Doesn't look like a hardcore RTS but it's incredibly addicting making your own animals to fight.
City of Heroes - It may be simple but its alotta fun to play (especially until you get to level 15)
Star Wars Galaxies - Probably the most involved MMORPG I have ever played, the graphics are amazing, the gameplay is astounding, and if you have never played I recommend you try it out now as the Combat Upgrade just came out about a month ago and the people who have been playing from launch are now more screwed up than a newcomer because of all the changes, older players who were set in their ways just got hosed.

Yeah well, gotta do some homework, so I'll talk to you fellers later.

Final Finals Day Tomorrow

Finals tomorrow and then school is over.

Been a good ride.

I have some homework now... which since I am gonna procrastinate until about midnight translates into UT...

Almost free... thoughts from the Bird Cage...

2 More days and my 12 year sentence will be complete... did I opt for parole on good behavior, nope I wanted every excruciatingly ugly minute... because as a Mexican girl told me today I apparently without realizing it "Try and act like I'm all the shit"... Odd really... If they could only see me outside of school, huddled in the corner of the room surrounded by action figures and pirated cartoons... Not only am I "the shit", I'm better than other "the shit" people, cause I have action figures and pirated cartoons. Pixelated and hundreds of times duplicated.

I dunno though, I bet with the knowledge gained from Initial D alone I could prolly outdrive every punk in the valley...

Finals start tomorrow... doing a bit of cramming and a bit of studying, gotta get ready for the test... oh baby, maybe if I do good, I might pull that 3.0 average out of my rectal cavity...

Procrastination is the root of all happiness, what better feeling do you have, looking at the homework and then just walking away like your parents when you make a scene at the mall... or so I'm told...

My family's coming down for my graduation you know what that means, I have to clean up my beautiful space that my mom has been telling me is a pig-stye for going on however many years I've had cognitive thought. Maybe I'm fat to match my stye... I'm am the pig and this is my syte. (that ones for you hask) I'm starting a compaign to get as many fat americans to get plastic suregery and skin pigmentation so they look like haskell (then we'll see the fat stereotype jokes shift, see how the Asians like it)

Time to scream like a girl and run away for a while...

Obi Wan the fight... Anakin is an ignorant bastard.

Star Wars rocks.... and will always rock... gonna take my wheelman Nick to northern Californeea kidnap Lucas and make him tell me bedtime stories for the rest of my life... maybe gather together the entire original cast and do my own rendition of Star Wars without that pansy Luke character... Han Solo all the way baby. Luke may have skills with an X-wing but it takes guts to pilot the rusty bucket of bolts that is the YT-1300 Millenium Falcon, and the constant fear of a wookiee ripping your arms off by accident. You know that thing can do the Kestle Run in under 12 parsecs... just something to remember... (like to see Luke do anything like that.. the pansy)

4 days left of school, oh boy... have to pull together some stupid school crap then I'm free for a summer hooray... than I can go and waste away my entire summer at Andy's just like before...

Gotta go back to prison for 4 more days then if I'm good I get on out Parole for good behaviour.

The Double-Whammy with a little extra oomf.

Back into Bit Torrent and loving every second of it... the dizzying 100 kB/s downloads... the abismal 7.5 kB/s downloads (after the cable company throttles my connection for downloading more than 3 gigs a day..)
It's a happy day man... in 29.5 hours I'm gonna be sitting down in a theatre about to watch Star Wars... if I were to get a time machine... I would go back in time and go to the originals... and prolly follow around my dad and see if he was as cool in high school as he claims he was... take a tuner car back in time and kill those fools in a road course... I'd like to see one of those big lunky cars take a turn like Nick's lima-bean rocket...
I graduate in 11 days...

"You are the gayest monster since gay came to gaytown!" (Guess what that quote's from and you get a cookie)

Disregard in regards to everything...

I am tired of bullshit assignments from so-called teachers more ignorant in the subject they teach than I am. I am tired of the constant nagging to get good grades, to get assignments completed, I am tired of not being able to leave whenever I want because some dumb whore decided to be a moron and not wait 2 minutes for the light to change again. I am tired of people around me, I am tired of this place.
I can't even explain in words effectively how angry I am right at this moment, I am just tired of everything, I want to beat the hell out of my hands for not typing fast enough, destroy my computer because it isn't fast enough, kill everyone in 3 miles of me so I don't have to worry about a future. I am in hatred of everything right now... I am stuck in my room, its a cell, I'm stir crazy to the point I'm getting really nervous and anxious, running my hands through my hair and dry washing my hands every 2 seconds. I want to escape. I have no reason to be angry, other than the fact that I feel like a caged animal... I do not care about anything right now, and least of all about my grades, succeeding in high school means absolutely shit to me, it means nothing.

I just want all this crap to be done with... I want to move on... away from these stupid ass ignorant people.

Gundam Deathscythe was always the best... Gundam Zero is a fricken pansy...

Spur of the moment announcement: Just finished downloading Gundam Seed Episodes 1-25.... ooooh boy....

Back to my more relaxing life of ulcers and worrying...

ell prays So senior projects are over, I passed. I get to graduate now... provided I pass my required english and math classes, and that I don't miss to many days of school, or that I don't "embarrass the school in any way on graduation day", so if all I do is stand there with my eyes open staring straight ahead for another 2 and a half weeks without uttering so much as one syllable, they might let me graduate.

But now that senior projects done there's all the work I put aside because of senior projects, 5 assignments in English, 3 or 4 in math, and they are suddenly back, sneering at me from the depths of my binders...

Just need to get all my english caught up, then I'll be fine, I'll finish that this week, and next week I'll do my math, and then maybe... possibly... if Hask prays enough... I might graduate.

Stand and Deliver... then fail, not graduate, and ask people "Would you like fries with that?" for the rest of your life...

Speech is tomorrow, I meant to work on it yesterday.... once again proving that even with days of freetime and weeks of warning I will always leave it to the last day. It's nervousness... and not just about the speech itself, maybe... I don't really.... I have no idea what I'm really trying to get at...

Who friggin cares... gettin all worked up over nothing, like half of the people at school can do half as well as me when they prepare to my speech-on-the-fly. morons.

Everything has really been killing me, SlowTEC's tragic death, the end of my senior year... it's killin me... hopefully after this senior project crap is over tomorrow I won't be so pissed off anymore....

I swear every time I turn around there's another stupid person I just wanna clench my fist and start punching until they stop breathing... even playing games, driving, or eating isn't soothing my constant anger. I just wanna watch people get what they deserve. I wanna be the vigilante who does it but I'd settle for it being done by anyone as long as it does. The kid in the convertible cavalier, the jackasses that try to race me whenever I go to Twin, everyone at school... I think some divine justice should be ordered... but no I just keep smiling, always keep smiling, don't let things get to me as much, I could be doing something unassociated with anyone, like typing on my computer and all of a sudden I get this urge to go warpathing...

Only a day older than Adult...

I'm finally 18, I've finally an adult, but I wish I wasn't. Responsibility being the last thing I want.

Although it comes with perks.

Up until this point I never did anything that could get me in serious trouble so to save my parents any greif, gives me an easy feeling that now my actions won't be rolled off on them. That makes me feel better.

I know longer find solace in computers, in games, in reading, in cars... I feel like a rowboat that washed out two miles snagged on some reef and is now being beat to death by crashing waves and not being able to see land in any direction.
Since the wreck of my car I've just been out of it. Out of everything.

The sudden booming progression in my life for college, my birthday, and my senior year coming to an end and the thought of leaving my crappy little hometown has me wanting to lapse back and do nothing but watch cartoons and drink kool-aid. And the stress my friggin school is putting on the senior class is giving me a friggin ulcer.

Monday is senior project presentations, I give an 8-15 minute speech to a board of selected advisors... which may not sound too bad, but one of them is Asian, how am I going to look intelligent explaining technology to an Asian guy (mind you this isn't the technologically inept Haskell-type Asian).

Oh well... only a few more weeks til graduation...

Tobacco and Porn, the stuff 18 is made of...

Finally hit 18... and there was much rejoicing.

I decided screw everyone, I'm always the one to call other people and suggest we go do stuff. I'm gonna just sit here by myself see if anyone remembers I exist... how the day's been going I seriously doubt it.

"Happy Birthdays" are meaningless, they're hollow. The smile never reaches their eyes, its just the polite thing to do...

Only 6 more hours... let's see this play out

Like the night before Xmas but there's no snow, its hot, I don't have any presents coming, and...wait a minute, that doesn't sound like Xmas at all...

Sorry about the "X"mas thing... not enough topic spaces for Christ.. I'm not a heathen, athiest, or agnostic... Though that may be open to interpretation...

So the Senior Project Open House went without a hitch... dressed up like a metrosexual and flaunted myself at a greater portion of the town... but I looked pretty.

Tomorrow's my birthday... that big 1 followed by that lazy 8... be able to get the pornography... been waiting for that since I got hair... the special kind... wish that there was a place where I could find that without leaving the house... like a large electronic database... of some sort... I heard about something like that... once...

And bein able to buy the cigs for the homeless people... finally give them what they really want... that bit about "I need to get some coffee on" has gotten old... we know what they really do with it... cigarettes and booze...

School sucks... work is getting tougher... takes longer... gotta memorize and then regurgitate onto a test every 5 minutes... Striving to succeed over everyone, animal instinct, alpha-male attitude with runt-of-the-pack physique.

What better way to prove your worth then to pour yourself into self-succession, make something of yourself.

On that note, I am going to go to the garage put on the old iron worker's belt, wire in one hand, pliers in the other, If I am gonna make something out of myself, this keyboard is nothing more than a hindrance....

Modify, clarify, and then stupify...

Spent a little while... fixing... my blog's apearance, it's much more pretty... Now I need to finish workin on my stupid senior project crap...

I have control of two PCs now, 2 little computers all to my lonesome... oooh the possibilites... I could finally do all the things I ever dreamed of. Play games while being able to chat and do my homework... screw up someone else's computer, not just my own... have more than 1 imaginary children...

Frick... so much highschool/college crap going on I wanna slam my head against a wall and go into a coma for 8 years, come out of it a skinny supermodel... mmmmm... so anyways... I hafta get a job... my whole family's hassling me, so I turned in applications for a few places, but in all reality I either work at KN with Aaron or I practice tieing rebar for awhile and then head to Portland a couple months early... so for the sake of hanging out with my pal... I hope I can get on at Kimberly Nursuries... hopefully Aaron is as "influential" and he thinks he is.

My brother's heading back to Oregon tomorrow... and I hafta go to prison for another 3 weeks... I'd rather smother myself with a pillow in my sleep then go back to that piece of crap honestly. Just need to keep my C's in my classes and hope to graduate... have to give a friggin 8-15 minute speech to a board of advisors about my friggin project... that's gonna blow something hardcore... Maybe I'll die before then, we can always hope.

Gun drop out and start pickin them taters...

Senior projects are due Tuesday... I haven't started on the portfolio we've had 9 months to work on... and similarly haven't corrected the project essay due tomorrow... I figger at some point I'll just turn on my good ole puter and start typing away... hopefully with someone else's help... cause I'm outa idears by this point...

Wish Haskell was here... he may be yeller, but he has a way with them words... makes the people around feel like they've had some schoolin... but for the sake of the fact that I wanna go to Fox next year and redneck the joint up... I think I'm unna do that tonight... a little later though... have stuff to do right now...

So right after Aaron gets outa mah shower, we'll cuddle a bit, go to church, repent for the cuddlin, and then come back and maybe finish my paper... sometimes I get the jitters like I might not be able ter finish in time... but then again, maybe its cause I haven't et anything for a good couple hours...

Who knows?

The Death of SlowTEC

No sentimental crap from me. Some crazy whore did what a wagon was never meant to do: 4-wheel drift through an intersection, killing SlowTEC and skewering my happiness. So some of the afterthoughts of this accident are maybe I should track down and kill her, maybe I should slaughter her family for taking away my happiness, but the sudden freedom of knowing I might be able to find a better SlowTEC keeps me from it... barely. CRAZY WENCHES DESERVE TO DIE!

Next time you see a white Subaru wagon, you need to do a 180 on the road and friggin haul, she's just out to get you. However, this experience does successfully set me up for jokes about women drivers.

And Haskell I always hated you... I always hated you the most. Asian wench.