So with the addition of another blog entry I have to assume that no one reads what I write anyways so anything I say is as good as still in my mind. But it's nice to be able to catalog thoughts so you can go back and remember how you felt.
I'm going to speak on some disappointments that I've felt recently.
Life at Fox makes me sad or depressed for the most part. I sat down in the Bon with David Way the day before yesterday and another girl was telling us how she hated it when people beat around the bush and tried to trick the teacher into saying what they wanted to say so they could agree. And you know what, that may look cowardly, but not when you view the alternative... have you ever said something controversial in a classroom at Fox? You get torn to shreds. And as I pointed this out, you could see from their expressions and nods of agreement that I was right, that is what happens. Commie Kyle, with no offense to Kyle, may generally be the way Kyle is: a badass, but I have never felt judged while in Kyle's presence, I've never felt uncomfortable or that I wasn't good enough, religious enough, smart enough. And that feeling of not being enough is a feeling I get while sitting in a classroom at Fox, listening to my peers answer questions or speak aloud about politically correct "Christian issues." I wonder how many care and how many are acting...
I may not be the strongest Christian, I may be mean sometimes, not love my neighbor as much as I should, but I realize that weakness, I don't try to convince people of my piousness, that is between me and the big man.
Fox is a Christian school, and it shouldn't be that I feel that my faith's less than it was before I came. I had hoped for a strengthening experience, and while there have been(a good deal thanks to Penn, and most importantly Haskell and Sarah), there's been way more instances or situations that deter or diminish what I have.
I know it's not my place to judge, and realistically I should be one of the last, but it's sad to see so much of the blatant disregard from others from what I'm no longer going to refer to as Christians, since there are a good group of people that are actually amazing Christians that I don't think should be grouped with those that I speak of, so I'm going to call those I don't like as "Fox Specials" as a way of capturing a group at once without overgeneralizing.
And with that, good night everyone.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Belated Resolutions
So I've had a few days after New Years, almost a week, to decide some resolutions.
And I guess these are going to be a little bit more extravagant or unreal than what we've been accustomed to seeing resolutions as: Losing weight, Eating more healthy, Working out more, etc, etc...
Here are a list of mine:
1. Be happy with myself. Stop putting forth unreal expectations.
With that said here's the rest:
2. Draw more, sketch more, pursue the comic book that's been at the back of your skull all these years.
3. Work a little harder on school, less so on WoW / CoH/CoV
4. Be more open to stuff, responsibility is coming on swift wings, you're not going to be 19 forever.
5. Maybe take a break from my computer and read a book once in a while, or a comic book, okay e-books count.
6. Perhaps expand my horizons past cars and computer games. (Warning: Don't get too crazy. Cars and Computers are nice remember, you don't have to if you don't want too, I know you're an extremist... freak.)
7. Spend more time showing Sarah she's the most amazing girl on the planet.
8. Make Haskell and Bohl feel guilty for abandoning their radical anti-girl stances last year for girlfriends this year, and more so for abandoning me in the process (Haskell knows what I mean, in Portland for almost 2 weeks and didn't see him once... NOT EVEN ONCE! Bohl is okay though, he still makes time for friends, I love Bohl, I LOATHE HASKELL)
9. Talk to friends instead of merely nodding recognition at them as I pass by.
10. Stop being such a hermit, I know you, you just want to sit in front of your computer, and guess what, soon, when everyone hates you, you'll have plenty of time for that, so use this time wisely.
11. Hone my force powers beyond Force Speed and Persuasion, there's more to life than outrunning everyone and making everyone think you're awesome. You don't want to sell me deathsticks, you want to go home and rethink your life.
12. More organization, no more writing papers the night before or turning in assignments late. No more staying up all night, I'm not 18 anymore, I can't take that allnighter stuff anymore.
13. Don't be such a prick, everyone already hates you/fears you. Why don't you try to make a new friend, jerk?
14. Don't be so awesome, it makes everyone around you feel insignicant and worthless, tone down the awesome a little, okay?
15. Think of at least 15 new get rich quick schemes and market them on the internet in a book for the low low price of $195.98 (additional tax is buyer is from California).
I'm going to end on 15, because 15 is my favorite number.
So yeah, those are my years goals...
Wow... that's kind of a long list, how am I going to do that, I need to take some of those out... like 13, 13 definitely doesn't need to be there...
And I guess these are going to be a little bit more extravagant or unreal than what we've been accustomed to seeing resolutions as: Losing weight, Eating more healthy, Working out more, etc, etc...
Here are a list of mine:
1. Be happy with myself. Stop putting forth unreal expectations.
With that said here's the rest:
2. Draw more, sketch more, pursue the comic book that's been at the back of your skull all these years.
3. Work a little harder on school, less so on WoW / CoH/CoV
4. Be more open to stuff, responsibility is coming on swift wings, you're not going to be 19 forever.
5. Maybe take a break from my computer and read a book once in a while, or a comic book, okay e-books count.
6. Perhaps expand my horizons past cars and computer games. (Warning: Don't get too crazy. Cars and Computers are nice remember, you don't have to if you don't want too, I know you're an extremist... freak.)
7. Spend more time showing Sarah she's the most amazing girl on the planet.
8. Make Haskell and Bohl feel guilty for abandoning their radical anti-girl stances last year for girlfriends this year, and more so for abandoning me in the process (Haskell knows what I mean, in Portland for almost 2 weeks and didn't see him once... NOT EVEN ONCE! Bohl is okay though, he still makes time for friends, I love Bohl, I LOATHE HASKELL)
9. Talk to friends instead of merely nodding recognition at them as I pass by.
10. Stop being such a hermit, I know you, you just want to sit in front of your computer, and guess what, soon, when everyone hates you, you'll have plenty of time for that, so use this time wisely.
11. Hone my force powers beyond Force Speed and Persuasion, there's more to life than outrunning everyone and making everyone think you're awesome. You don't want to sell me deathsticks, you want to go home and rethink your life.
12. More organization, no more writing papers the night before or turning in assignments late. No more staying up all night, I'm not 18 anymore, I can't take that allnighter stuff anymore.
13. Don't be such a prick, everyone already hates you/fears you. Why don't you try to make a new friend, jerk?
14. Don't be so awesome, it makes everyone around you feel insignicant and worthless, tone down the awesome a little, okay?
15. Think of at least 15 new get rich quick schemes and market them on the internet in a book for the low low price of $195.98 (additional tax is buyer is from California).
I'm going to end on 15, because 15 is my favorite number.
So yeah, those are my years goals...
Wow... that's kind of a long list, how am I going to do that, I need to take some of those out... like 13, 13 definitely doesn't need to be there...
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Out for Blood...
Okay so honestly, I don't know what critics are understanding, but they are treating the entire movie Blood Diamond, even the conscience heavy message that the director, Edward Zwick, successfully presses on the audience, as fiction.
I watched the movie last night, the preview looked good, but what I saw was the Invisible Children message from a completely different standpoint. That of violence and immersion into the situation that nothing but the silver screen can produce.
And it provoked thoughts, as any movie pointing at real struggles does. My question is, Does this Hollywood treatment help or hurt the cause? They romanticize the struggle, give it heroes, but I'm unsure if it succeeded in motivating. There was so much more that could have been done I understand, but the message was clear: There are still over 200,000 child soldiers in Africa.
I believe that critics are reviewing the movie in the wrong ways. It's a big screen picture with a documentary message. And that message isn't making it to the public. The realities are harsh and the filmmaking and cinematography are never perfect, but the message is the important part. The message of the movie should be the focus, not the cinematography.
My only thought as I left the theatre was that I wanted to seriously injure anyone who said they didn't like the United States and didn't want to be here. Because they are a minority of the most priveledged people in the world, and if they don't want it, there are people that are literally dying to have that opportunity. If you don't like the freedom and the safety that our Nation has provided, then get out.
I watched the movie last night, the preview looked good, but what I saw was the Invisible Children message from a completely different standpoint. That of violence and immersion into the situation that nothing but the silver screen can produce.
And it provoked thoughts, as any movie pointing at real struggles does. My question is, Does this Hollywood treatment help or hurt the cause? They romanticize the struggle, give it heroes, but I'm unsure if it succeeded in motivating. There was so much more that could have been done I understand, but the message was clear: There are still over 200,000 child soldiers in Africa.
I believe that critics are reviewing the movie in the wrong ways. It's a big screen picture with a documentary message. And that message isn't making it to the public. The realities are harsh and the filmmaking and cinematography are never perfect, but the message is the important part. The message of the movie should be the focus, not the cinematography.
My only thought as I left the theatre was that I wanted to seriously injure anyone who said they didn't like the United States and didn't want to be here. Because they are a minority of the most priveledged people in the world, and if they don't want it, there are people that are literally dying to have that opportunity. If you don't like the freedom and the safety that our Nation has provided, then get out.
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