Present Moment

So like Whatafreak I attained a new mouse as well, the new(er) Logitech MX Revolution. The thing rocks. And the software bundled with it wasn't entirely retarded so I was okay.

Moving on...

I'm tired of sitting here... waiting.

I want to do something, I want to start something, I want life to continue even though I'm in college. But it seemingly does not. It halts. And I can't figure out for the life of me how to get it started again. Every idea seems so far fetched but inside me, I know that I can do it.

I want to start now but before I do that I need to have knowledge, which I lack. I need to know what I'm doing and I have no idea how to go about gaining that precise knowledge.

So I sit here, wasting time, wasting life, day dreaming. I have so many thoughts in my head, so many ideas... but they seem like schemes because I haven't thought them all the way out. I know for some reason, it would fail. And I don't want to put myself into financial woes because of a failure.

I can feel is wash over me... like a great Torrent of information!

My torrents are working again! On Fox's connection! I can't believe it... it's slow and pathetic, a trickly compared to what I'm used to, but it's working, like ebbing life back into me a bit at a time.

I'm actually really excited again. To have that back at least, a tiny part of myself.

This week is looking up! I can't wait to find some new and interesting things to torrent.

But then again... that's kind of one reason I quit torrenting... there's was nothing to download that I was interested in.

Hooray!

Attitude, Mood, Reason, What have you...

Is this it?

That is my reason for all the irritation all the attitude all the blank stares and daydreams I seem to have lately. Shouldn't there be a goal or something to give drive to attain/achieve? Something to spark or fuel ambition? No, apparently there isn't. And that's why I've been so unhappy lately. Don't get me wrong there's alot in my life that is very, very good. But I hope to attain more this... isn't that why I entered school?

But then why are those outside of school still moving along, attaining the things I want as I wait? I don't feel like I'm going anywhere, like I'm pedaling as hard as I can but the chain came off so I'm not moving anywhere...

I don't know what I need to do to succeed. I'm just... bored, I guess, and tired of waiting. I want to be doing. I want to be doing something. I need to find a hobby or something. Because this waiting is just boring work.