Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Being Honest is More Horrifying Than Any Lie

So anyways, I was honest for the first time in my life last night. I usually hide myself behind a very intricate mask of made-up stories or just one or two of the exciting real ones. Just enough that people don't question my credibility...

And I was open to someone I barely know. What I told her was a major part of the why I am the way I turned out. I just felt that for once I should be honest with someone. And honestly I feel awkward and embarrassed towards that person now. On top of already being nervous.

And I've come to a conclusion about the whole thing. Erase the number and burn the rest.

Only thing left to worry about is the conscience, I have an amazing memory for all the stupid crap I've done.

And it feels really weird to not have something to hide behind, after 4 years of criticism it's a very different thing to be freely handing out ammunition to someone. But I think it was good for me.

Took a drive last night, scary as piss. A combination of driving too fast, my poor vision, a very windy road, and fog it was pretty gnarly for a bit.




I feel better now.