Boredom among nothing else...

I am really bored right now. Like this undeniable, I have never, will never complete anything kind of boredom.

Where you want to be doing something but aren't sure what and everything suggested sounds lame. I can't think of anything I can do that won't make me feel even worse about my current predicament, at least nothing instantaneous... I wish I could drive to Portland or drive to Visalia or so something fun... Something spontaneous... I never do anything like that anymore. My life is one big reoccuring loop of events. Though sometimes this isn't all bad, like with the clockwork regularity that Sarah calls and rescues me from my dismal state of depressed boredom, that is the only reason I haven't lost my mind, sold my soul (and other various body organs), and run for a Vegas Loanshark so I can borrow a million dollars, buy a fast car, change my name, and drive hellbent for the Mexican Coast. Somewhere down on the Baja Peninsula sounds pleasant.

I just wish I could see my future, see that I won't be a complete screw up... then maybe I wouldn't be this depressed. But sometimes as I sit in this remote part of the country, cut off, for all intents and purposes, I feel like the world is moving on without me. Like while I work here on the surface of the sun, the world is advancing and I'm falling behind.

I've been looking at sand blasters and paint guns, want to start experimenting a bit, do a few small projects... maybe that will hold off the boredom for a time, but when it's hot like this, there isn't much to do but stay inside... so I have to think of something to pass the time.

Have a good day.