God, grant me wisdom in what I do, and how I act. Help me to act not in my own interest but for your glory. Guide me Lord, because no plan or arrangement against you can hope to succeed. Give me wisdom, God, give me wisdom.
It's eerie. For the first time I can't talk to anyone. It makes me feel apart from them. For the first time since arriving at Fox I am alone. These people around me, they don't know who I am. They don't know what's happening. They are just faces. No one understands where I am. No one here could understand where I am, because I haven't told them, and maybe not even then. I am so alone. But you know, maybe not with full comprehension because I can't speak. Are you as lost as me? As scared as me? I am so confused I don't know where I'm going, the direction, the speed...
I'm eating with them and they are happy, I know the occassion and I should be happy too, maybe I am happy, but I can't feel the emotion. No emotion, just thought. I see smiles and it registers in my mind why, but I can't figure out how to smile. Please save me.
How did I get to be in this position? I was tired... but I wanted to stay, I didn't want it to end, I never want it to end. I wanted to stay...
I wanted to stay...
... and I'm sorry.
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