I've been slowly placing things in boxes and plastic tubs, preparing for the final move away from the bedroom that I've known since the 8th grade and that I've shared with my brother until he moved to Oregon 3 years ago. I would suppose for most people who were spoiled, or for people who were the only child, the dorm life would scare them, having to live in a cramped room with another person for long periods of time. For me, it's merely a journey back in time. As I look around my bedroom, which is now a white box with a matress on the floor for a bed and a few full containers of belongings, I realize how little I have amassed in my 18 years of life. The only good investment I've ever made was my computer. But even with the little I have I know I've been blessed heavily, my parents have struggled their entire lives to make sure that when I leave their house in 3 weeks that I will have the skill set to survive in the real world.
I guess the reason I'm talking about this crap at all is because I am anxious as all get out about the fact that I'm 18 and that no matter what happens whether I go to college or not I have to move out of my parents house. For the last 18 years home was wherever my parents were and soon that won't hold true ever again. That feeling has me nervous, feels like I've just walked through a door and that door locked behind me. Soon what happens to me will be in my control, whether I tank or succeed will depend on me. And me in control of anything is a scary thought. And I know you guys are going to give me responses like "God will help you" and such so, not trying to sound harsh or anything, take into account I'm already aware of that.
Since me and Aaron were in Jr. High the dream was: When we get our Driver's License's we will be able to do whatever we want and hang around with each other all the time. Then that happened and that's just what we did. Then once we could drive we were like: We are going to college and we're gonna be roommates and no matter what happens it'll always be the two of us around to make sure the other doesn't die and so on. Well that won't ever happen now, the fact that next year is gonna be a inverse repeat of last year, him at Fox and me home, scares me pretty bad too. Aaron is going to be in Twin with Andy, while I'm going to be alone at Fox.
Or I would have been if it wasn't for Aaron. He introduced me to Haskell and Sam and all the other guys in Penn. I'd like to think that for everything Aaron's given me, taste in music, letting me play Nox and Diablo for hours on his computer and leaving him with nothing to do, giving me Lego pieces that he had double of, or for generally letting me hang around in the same vicinity, that I have given even one good thing to him (impossibly high standards of girls?), but I know I haven't. Aaron is the singlemost greatest person I've ever had the good fortune to meet, and for more than 10 years I've had to honor to call him my best friend. He is my brother in every sense and meaning of the word. And I am gonna miss his stupid ass next year at Fox.
What started as a chapter closing in my life twisted into a tribute of my best friend, while I haven't gained as many material things as most people I have gained a friend, and thats worth more than anything money can buy, red hair or no.
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1 comment:
i wasn't gonna say anything about God...but i was gonna say that i've got your back. for what that's worth.
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