Awkward and Dying for Sleep

What do you say? What do they say?

I hate the awkwardness, I want to fall asleep because when I'm asleep I don't think about it. You can't mess anything up if you're always asleep, unless its attendance.

Given the chance, and the right mindset, I'll screw over everything around me in a matter of minutes. But I keep trying to not screw up, try not to fail. I wish it was easy, but maybe if it was I wouldn't care about it, wouldn't want it, wouldn't appreciate it as much as it deserves.

But I can't sleep through it when I can't sleep. I go over everything in my mind, like looping a video over and over again. But I want it, every agonizing moment of it, because it's amazing. Amazing that for once I care about something.

I have changed, of that there is no doubt. No doubt in my mind or the people around me. Am I glad of the change? I don't know... we'll see.