How do I define something that seems so abstract to me?
How do I explain something that doesn't even make sense to me? It's just a massive tangle of emotions and feelings all pointing me down the same path.
There are plenty of reasons why... but every time I am about to say anything, my throat siezes up, my mouth goes dry, and I'm left without words. So in the end what happens? Silence.
I'm excited and at the same time frightened... you think that you are at more of a risk than me? I have invested more in you than any other person I have ever known.
Everytime I'm with you, every single time, means its going to be that much harder if it ends. And I don't ever want it to end.
I've never had the "Sarah Complex" where I forget you 5 minutes after we stop talking... I'm in a constant state of panic-mixed-with-joy from the moment I wake up til the moment I lose myself in sleep.
There's so much I mean to say, wish I could get out, to put you at ease, to end your suffering... but in the end it's always the same.
Silence.
And I'm sorry, more sorry than I have ever been. I hope I can find the words soon.
1 comment:
I only hope that you say to her exactly what you have said here. You are articulate when you blog, but evidently you are not able to convey the same emotions when in her presence. Maybe this is something that you need to work on?
Post a Comment