Noncommital and Unwilling to Let Go

I'm never sure of anything. Myself, others, random meaningless little decisions. Indecision is me. Lately I've been ruled by these feelings that have always felt foreign. I've always been pretty confident because I knew what I was, what I was capable of, and I thought I knew how my life would end up.

How do I feel? That question has been coming up alot lately. I've always been a thinker not a feeler. I tried to make everything logical... whenever the question comes up I run through my thoughts, whats happened to me recently, what could be leading to my feeling and my response begins, "I think it's because..." But how do I know that, I could just be making excuses to skate away from the truth.

Why am I trying to act like my emotion has any sort of logic?

I feel illogical.

I feel nervous, anxious, unsteady, unsure, kind of like falling down a pit and you never know when the bottom might suddenly appear and you could die.

When I experience emotion I embrace it, like at any point my life may end and I want to know I lived the human experience to the fullest. I let it consume me entirely until I don't exist and only the emotion remains. I lose myself in the torrent of rage, depression, and happiness... It's like I'm treading water in the center of a hurricane.

And you are the one that alters it. So in the end, my decisions don't matter, yours do. Choose carefully. I'll be with you no matter what you decide.